Through Hardship and Understanding
by PierceTheVeils
Summary: In the years following the overthrow of Queen Ga'ran, Apollo Justice and Beh'leeb Inmee come to rely on each other. Far more than either would like to admit. But before they can move on, they need to put a few ghosts to rest. Slow burn, done for a prompt on the kink meme.
1. Chapter One

Chapter One

When Apollo made the choice to live and work in Khura'in, he could have sworn time stopped working properly. Months felt like weeks and years at the same time. Faces and crimes and stories all blended together, and in that moment, Apollo forgot them all.

Unfortunately, that happened a lot. Especially when he was stressed.

Luckily, there were some people who were always there, helping him stay on the right side of sanity. Keeping the records straight and the schedule organized so he never tried to defend a pickpocket for murder. More than once, anyway.

Datz was great on investigations, but had a way of causing trouble everywhere he went. Not to mention, he still thought it was funny to set off fireworks at crime scenes, bazaars, and police headquarters.

Ahlbi was helpful around the office, but Apollo knew his situation. If he didn't send a certain amount of money to his mother every month, his siblings might go without food. If he worked and helped Apollo at the same time, he would have no time for an education from the temple. Apollo couldn't bring himself to deny a kid learning, no matter how common it might be in this part of the world.

In the end, his most vital assistant was Beh'leeb Inmee. Thanks to her dutiful record keeping for the past twelve years, abuses and incidents of the previous regime were no longer hidden from the public. At the side of her child, she spoke to witnesses on his behalf, translated endless documents into English, and (most recently) stood by him in court. With her steady hand and composed counseling, he found himself floundering less and less. Her reputation as an abbot's widow brought the more stubborn of defendants to him for help. She had become vital to not just the success of him, but of the entire revolution.

One day, he asked. "Have you considered becoming a lawyer, Ms. Inmee?"

She shook her head. "I can't see myself doing more than I already am. Sorry to let you down, but Faitah is too young for me to run around as you do." She paused. "And please, call me Beh'leeb."

So their partnership continued. Apollo was more grateful than he had time to express. The minutes and hours bled into days and weeks. There were days when Beh'leeb's soothing words were the only thing strapping him down to sanity. Days when her face was the only friendly thing he saw.

And though Faitah would scream and cry while they both worked in his office, he never minded the young boy's presence. Looking into the face of someone so young reminded him to hope for the future. The future his father had given his life to bring about.

"Will you hold Faitah for few minutes? I need to get him some food."

"No worries, Beh'leeb." Apollo picked up the six-month-old from his mother's arms and smiled. "You'll be fine, Faitah!"

Gurgles. Apollo didn't get any work done in Beh'leeb's absence, preferring to bounce the baby up and down, encouraging him to scream with Chords of Steel.

"Remember Faitah. A dragon _never_ yields!"

"Agoh! Agoh!"

A laugh from the doorway. Beh'leeb was watching them.

"Faitah likes you," she commented, bags under her eyes. She opened a jar of mush, placing some on a spoon and persuading her son to eat.

"I hope he does. He'll be seeing a lot my face for a few years."

She tilted her head. concerned. "I do hope he doesn't distract you too much. You have five cases tomorrow."

"I need the distraction." Apollo responded, eyes getting heavy. "And he's a part of you. I don't mind having him here if it means you can help me out."

"That's a relief." Beh'leeb was tired. Usually she was calm and collected, but lately she'd been reaching her limits. It was concerning to him.

"Has something been going on?"

"It's almost May," she whispered. "The Purification Rite is in three weeks."

"Oh." Apollo remembered the story. Last year, in the days before the rite, Beh'leeb had nearly been killed. The man she saw as a son had been a member of the secret police. One day, he found her in a rebel hideout, and died in a struggle with her. Tahrust Inmee killed himself to save her life. "Are you-"

"No. The new abbot and his wife will lead the rituals. It is my choice, whether or not I pray that day."

"Will you?"

"Not at Mount Poniponi. I…" She turned to him, a tear streaking her face. "I'm going to visit Tahrust."

Apollo didn't know exactly where the guy had been buried, but he knew Nahyuta had given him many posthumous honors, so it was probably somewhere nice. "Do you want me to watch Faitah when you go? I wasn't going to pray during the rite anyway."

"That would be wonderful."

And at that moment, a strange feeling welled up inside him. A sense of connection, through shared trials and mutual pain. A brave face over a grieving heart, hidden for the child's sake.

Even though the wounds were great, Apollo knew they would heal with time. As the days swept by and time wove the strands of history, two people relied on each other to reach happier times.

And happier times would come. But first, Apollo would let her grieve.

* * *

The day of the Purification Rite was quiet, aside from the prayers carried on the wind. At least half the city had shut down for the event, and Apollo chose to take advantage of the peace and quiet to do some much needed cleaning around the office and home. He'd been lucky enough to buy a place between his office and the Hall of Justice, making the daily commute much easier.

Of course, he couldn't leave Faitah in a room by himself. Apollo didn't know what he would do if the kid got into something and Apollo wasn't there to stop him. Apollo ended up putting the kid in a makeshift pouch where he slept through the constant motion. It made him look like a kangaroo, but Apollo didn't mind.

"Is this what it's like being a father?" Apollo wondered to himself. Sure, he was only twenty-five, but there was no harm in thinking about it. Plenty of guys in Khura'in had kids older than Faitah by his age. And after his turbulent past, he liked the idea of adopting a kid for its whole childhood. Give it the nice, stable home he hadn't been able to receive growing up. Dhurke and his biological father would have liked the idea.

Maybe when he was less busy (and not, you know, the _only lawyer in town_ ) he could ask Mr. Wright about the adoption process. He would know what it was like, with Trucy and all.

The rest of his day was spent much the same, with Apollo going back home after the paperwork beast had been tamed to floors that needed to be swept. He was in the middle of his kitchen when he heard the knock on the door.

"Who is it?" he called out. No answer.

So he walked over to the door, Faitah awake and poking at his badge as he turned the knob, opening up to Beh'leeb's crying face.

"Whoa, hey." She looked almost pale. "How did your visit to-"

"Terrible." Beh'leeb blew past him, collapsing into one of his chairs. She never barged into anywhere. Except for the temple that one protest.

"Did something happen?"

She shook her head, reaching out for her son. Apollo unhooked Faitah from his pouch and handed him over. He looked happy to see his mother, then confused.

"I tried to explain to Tahrust… I wanted to… I couldn't do it."

"What did you want to tell Tahrust?" Apollo paused. "Wait, did you actually ask to-"

"No, he wasn't channeled. I was talking to a grave. I wanted to say… how I always appreciated him, and what he did for me."

"Thank him for saving you last year."

"Not just that." Beh'leeb turned to Apollo. "You don't understand. I married Tahrust when I was seventeen. He was twenty-eight, and had just become an abbot. My father had been killed as a rebel. My mother died long before. He took me in to save my reputation. That… that was the third time we met."

He didn't know that. "Wow."

"He was so patient with me. He never forced me into his bed, never made me do something I wasn't ready for… I came to rely on him."

"I can imagine." He couldn't imagine getting married at seventeen. And to a virtual stranger, at that. "But you eventually had a child together, right?"

"We'd been married for fourteen years. He wanted kids so badly… I wish I'd given them to him sooner. I wish I hadn't been so hesitant. Then maybe…" She choked on a sob. "Maybe he could have been a father before he died."

"Hey," he put his hand on his shoulder, trying to sooth her. "I'm sure he doesn't blame you. He loved you, and didn't want you do something you weren't ready for."

"Tahrust always did so much for me. I wish I could have done more for him."

"What do you mean? You were his wife. You were his-"

"I cleaned for him. I cooked for him. I went with him to rites and rebel meetings and assisted in sermons. I carried his child. But I didn't do the one thing a wife should do."

"Don't say that. It sounds like you were a great wife. What else could you have done for him?"

"I could have loved him."

Apollo froze. Faitah blinked. Beh'leeb broke down into sobs.

"I thought I did, I swear. And it's not that I don't, I'm just… I'm very confused. I thought I'd learn to love him better over the years. He saved me from homelessness, it would have been the least I could do.

"But now… I'm not sure. He gave he his life, and I couldn't even give him the first thing he deserved."

Apollo stuttered a bit, trying to think of what to say. "Don't blame yourself, Beh'leeb. You can't control how you feel. And I doubt Tahrust would blame you, even if you could. Your situation… it wasn't a normal one. The two of you got along, and together, you served the rebellion well. You were good servants of the Holy Mother, people this country looked up to. You had Faitah together.

"My point is, you did a lot of good. Don't shame yourself if your relationship wasn't like everyone else's." Apollo pulled it close. "The way he went out… it sounds like he died with no regrets. If he isn't upset with how things turned out between you two, you shouldn't be either."

She sniffled. "You mean it? You won't judge me, for the things I've told you?"

"Of course not. Beh'leeb, you're the greatest assistant I could have out here. More than that. You keep me sane. And if I can occasionally do that for you… it's the least I can do.

"Repeat after me: you'll be fine!"

"I'll be fine." she said weakly, turning her attention to her baby. "He needs to be fed. Sorry for bothering you."

"It's no trouble, really." He looked her in the eye. "I mean it, Beh'leeb. You do so much for me."

"And you too."

As she was walking he out, he heard her murmur, almost under her breath. "Maybe one day, I'll know how love feels."

Apollo hoped she did. And maybe one day, he'd be there to see it.

* * *

 **A/N's: So there was a request on the kink meme for Apollo rarepairs, and the idea of Beh'leeb/Apollo was too appealing to not take a stab at.**

 **Also, this is my first time writing Beh'leeb as a major character in a fic, so I hope I did okay. I kinda took a lot of liberties with the relationship she and Tahrust had, but it suits the fic and what I have planned. No obvious shippiness yet, but it will come, I promise.**

 **And yes, I promise I am working on my other fics too. But everyone needs a break from time to time, am I right?**

 **Anyway, thanks for the read, I hope you review, and I'll see you on the far side!**


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

It had been a few days since the Purification Rite had ended, and Apollo became reacquainted with his busy schedule as though it had never left him. Beh'leeb hadn't said anything more regarding her outburst, preferring to act as though everything was normal. The way she carried herself, it was almost like it never happened.

And it worried Apollo. He knew first-hand how dangerous it was to bury your emotions inside, and he didn't want Beh'leeb to feel the way he had when they finally exploded to the surface. She'd been through enough hardship as it was.

So Apollo tried to do more for her, whenever the time permitted. He grew used to caring for Faitah, and for that, Beh'leeb was grateful. Apollo didn't mind staying up to finish his paperwork if it meant his best assistant got to take a five-minute break.

She insisted he don't, of course. Good rest was instrumental to a good defense in court, and she didn't want someone else's case to suffer for her sake.

"Apollo, please. There are people out there who really need your help. I don't want to take any more time away from them than I already have."

"Your help is just as important to saving them as mine is, Beh'leeb. Don't worry about it."

There was a fine line between selflessness and self-destruction. And some days, it felt like they both forgot the difference.

One day, when Datz came in with one of the former Dragons, the man was sporting a black eye and insisted a noble's guard had punched him when he so much as delivered a petition to the man's residence. Apollo (with Datz's help) investigated the crime for three days, only to have everyone working there claim it never happened. Six other cases piled up in that time, but Apollo was determined to see justice for Datz's friend... only to find out three minutes before court that Pahn'tson Faiyah had fabricated the story to smear a noble's image. It took all of Apollo's self-control (and a bit of Beh'leeb's soothing voice) to stop him from punching an ex-military in the face. Instead, he pled guilty and got his client a fifty dahma fine for wasting the court's time. At least the press didn't say much about it.

"I can't believe someone would be that stupid!" Apollo raged as they walked back to the office.

"I didn't know Pahn'tson personally, but I wouldn't have expected this from him. It was sinful, what he did."

"It was a waste of my time! I can't believe I spent the better part of three days trying to help that guy! It's people like that who make the revolution harder to take seriously."

"I know how it feels, but trust me when I say it made no difference." Beh'leeb took Faitah from Ahlbi's arms, watching as he ran back to the temple. "The revolution is here now. Our regent won't let it disappear over something as minor as this."

No, Nahyuta wouldn't make a big deal out of it. He hadn't even been the prosecutor, this case around. And even if he was, he wasn't his aunt. No one who would use this to undermine the revolution had enough power to do so.

In the end, it was all just a big waste of everyone's time. Especially Apollo's.

"Alright, I guess we should get working on other cases." Apollo popped open the next case file on his desk, sorted by date of incident and urgency. Because of the sheer backlog and lawyer shortage, cases were allowed to wait as long as a month before seeing their time in court, and Apollo had until the day before trial to decide to take a case. Only in the case of violent crimes were suspects kept in the Detention Center.

After a little bit of sifting, he found a manslaughter case that caught his eye. Two days after the Purification Rite, a nineteen-year-old farmer attacked his mother in a fight about his upcoming arranged marriage. His mother panicked, and threw a large vase at her son. The vase supposedly shattered in his face, several pieces going into his eye and one shard puncturing his chest. He died from blood loss. The boy's father tried to take responsibility for the crime, but his wife refused to let him. All in all, it was going to be a sad trial.

And a familiar one. Apollo tried to the think, but he couldn't remember which case he was thinking of. It wasn't until Beh'leeb came into the room that he remembered.

The case had been hers. Mr. Wright had told him the story the day the trial concluded, and Datz had given him the details not long after moving here. It had been over a year ago.

How would Beh'leeb react to seeing a case so similar to her own? She'd seen enough in her life to not flinch at the occasional murder, but he'd seen for himself how the wounds of the past still lingered in her mind, no matter how she tried to deny it.

Maybe he should ask Datz for help on this one.

After calling and promising to defend the woman in court two days from now, Apollo opened the file on a harmless looking larceny. Cases varied in difficulty, but this one appeared to be more open and shut than most. Maybe Beh'leeb could help him on this one. And bring Faitah, nonetheless.

"Beh'leeb! Can you come with me to the bazaar to investigate another case?"

"Of course," she replied calmly. "What sort of case is it?"

"Larceny. There shouldn't be any blood or anything."

"Good." Beh'leeb walked out the office door with her baby boy in hand. "Nice to see you moving on from this morning's frustrations."

"I have to, if this backlog is going to get fixed." Taking on cases that were (mostly) years old had delayed current cases, so Apollo was doing his best to get through at least two or three a day, with the recent exception of Pahn'tson. Which he wouldn't be doing again soon.

"Don't push yourself too hard. No one is at their best when they're drowning in stress."

Apollo snorted at the almost-rhyme. "Is that a proverb?"

Beh'leeb shook her head. "No, the proverb most relevant to your situation is 'a warbaa'd who misses the prey made a hunting mistake. A warbaa'd who thinks only of missing mistakes itself for a hunter.'"

"I think I like the first thing better."

"Indeed."

In moments like these, it occurred to him just how far he and Beh'leeb had come in their relationship. Barely a year ago, the two of them had been complete strangers. Now, she was his closest friend. He shared more with her than he did with Nahyuta, or even Trucy (on the off chance he got to talk to her, magical and legal careers and international call costs and all). It was... relieving.

"Oh, Apollo. Did I tell you? I got in touch with my eldest aunt recently."

"The one who disowned you and your father from the family when he was caught for being a rebel?"

"The very same. I've been trying to speak with her for years, but this is the first time I've tried since the revolution truly began. She... finally answered my letters."

Apollo wasn't quite sure what to say. "Well, that's good. What did she say?"

Beh'leeb hummed. "She was happy to hear about Faitah being born healthy, but had some interesting thoughts about me being a widow at thirty-two." She sighed, turning away. "She wants to help me find another husband."

Apollo froze, trying to diagnose the stragne feeling that welled up in his heart just then. Obviously, he felt sympathy for Beh'leeb, having seen how torn up she was about Tahrust mere days ago. But something else was there. Something he couldn't quite name.

So he went with the obvious question. "After just a year? Isn't it a bit early to be thinking about that?"

"For some, yes." Beh'leeb clutched Faitah closer to her body. "But for others, especially those with young children... it's a practical matter, really."

"You don't need to remarry to take care of your child. I know plenty of people who grew up with a single parent," Apollo replied, thinking of Trucy, Athena... heck, even himself. "Why, are you worried about money? If that's the problem here, I can help you."

"No, that isn't it. If I'm honest, it would be nice to have someone around again. But I'm not sure I'm ready."

"And you don't have to be. No one should force you into a marriage you aren't ready for, not even circumstance. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"It's nothing you did to cause it."

"Hey." Apollo stepped in front of her, looking her in the eye. "You should find someone to share your life with if and when you want to. Not to please some grumpy old woman you haven't talked to in years. If you ever need help around the house, or with Faitah, I'm here for you. You should find someone you love and trust to settle down with. You shouldn't have to marry someone to ensure your own safety, or please a family member. You deserve more than that."

"...Thank you." She blinked. "I'm surprised you haven't found someone to marry yet."

"Oh, you know," he scratched the back of his head, "I'm just putting that stuff on hold until I'm a bit less busy. Hard to date when you're standing in court for six hours of your day, and investigating for eight of them."

"I understand."

Apollo felt awkward after that, so the two of them were silent for the rest of the trip, aside from Faitah's slight gurgling. When they got to the stand the larceny had happened at, there was no more discussion or marriage or remarriage form either of them.

And maybe it was better that way. Just thinking about it made Apollo feel uneasy.

* * *

 **A/N's: Sorry for how long this took. I didn't really know where to go with this story, and I'm still not entirely sure about the quality of this chapter. It's mostly just establishing the existing relation between Beh'leeb and Apollo further, and dragging up the possibility of them having feelings for each other. Plus I feel like I owe it to the anon who requested this on the kink meme forever ago, especially since she liked my first part so much. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'm going to continue after this.**

 **What do you all think? Any ideas going forward?**

 **Well, thanks for reading anyway. Guess I'll see you on the far side?**


End file.
